World AIDS Day

Today is December 1st. The beginning of a new month, almost near the holiday season, a step closer to a new beginning. Most importantly, it's World AIDS day. When I was 10 years old, my life changed forever. I lost my best friend. My mother was defeated in a short lived battle with the disease. I remember the day as if it had just happened. I was at school and we got called down to go home early. We NEVER go home early! So immediately I got nervous, naturally because I knew that something was wrong. I had always known that my mother was sick, just never knew why or the severity of the illness. My grandmother didn't sit me down and have "the talk" with my other siblings and I, and to this day I don't think she knows how to communicate certain things. On the ride home I sat between my older brother and sister and began to cry. I knew that my mother had left us. I can never explain how I knew, but I will never forget the feeling of literally, for those five seconds, the lifeless feeling that had overtaken me.


She was in and out of the hospital and was always taking medicine so I began to see less of her. Withdrawal was already beginning to be familiar for me. Of the five of us, she and I were the closest. I was a shadow. Where she was, so was I if it was allowed. So walking up to my grandmothers house seemed like a never ending journey, cars outside and big black awkward looking station wagon type of vehicle made me ponder. Finally we're inside and I don't want to continue down the hall only to confirm what I already know to be true. I had to get closure so I went. Entering the room, I don't ever remember a hurt as painful, as raw, and as loud as that moment. Seeing a lifeless, dry, small body in a very very cold room was insanely surreal. All of the noise and commotion around me got drowned out because I couldn't stop staring at her. Seeing what AIDS had done to her beautiful face had me stuck. What will forever linger with me is regret, because I never got to say I love you. I'll never hear her voice, feel her touch, or see that smile ever again.


I shared this story with you all only to arrive at this point. No one wants to lose anyone to such an ugly, horrible, unforgiving disease. And I know that many of you will ignore this and still won't get tested, but that just goes to show that you don't care about your status, your partner(s) status(es) or your livelihood in general at all. Yes today is World AIDS day but you should want to know that you're healthy and can see plenty more tomorrows any day. The younger the generations the more carless we're becoming. Don't do it because you're being pressured to, don't do it because you think something is wrong, do it because deep down inside you really need to know. Do it to avoid becoming a statistic. Do it so that you won't be apart the "I have it and I don't even know" group.

The first cases of aids were found as early as the 1930's. And the number of people living with HIV rose from around 8 million in 1990 to 34 million by the end of 2010. There were 399 newly diagnosed HIV cases in 2010, down from 460 in 2009 and 492 in 2008. The majority was male (90%), MSM (62%), aged 25-49 (84 and white (50%).

Just a few interesting statistics I'll leave with you and let you decide. -@meangirl_ro